Privacy-Collectivism and Individualism

2.1 Privacy

Imagine this. In the morning, when you walk out of your home and meet with your new neighbor John from U.S., you may smile at him and say: ‘Hi, where are you going? ’ Without stopping for an answer from this new neighbor, you keep walking away with a ‘goodbye’ smiling.

This Chinese typical way to greet people implies an intention to show care and concern to other’s daily life. However your neighbor John may feel confused. He may take the question ‘where are you going?’ as a real question and may wonder why you seem to be interested in the place where he is going to go?

This cultural difference is referred to as the difference of the two values: Individualism vs. Collectivism. According to Prof. Hofstadter’s Cultural Dimensions theory, some societies show a more distinct preference to collectivism or individualism. The U.S. scored much higher in individualism than China did in this program. In an individualistic society, people prefer a loosely-knit social framework, in which individuals are expected to take care of only themselves and their immediate families. Therefore, they are not used to questions or greetings into anything they think they are responsible of. While in a collective society, people prefer a tightly-knit framework in society, in which individuals will expect their relatives or members of a particular in-group to look after them in exchange for unquestioning loyalty.

That is why we are quite used to others’ paying attention to our daily life and take it as their care and concern for us; but to an American, it is very shocking at the first time hearing these questions.

Due to such a big distance between the basic values in cross-cultural communication, some topics are deemed as better not to ask about. Now let’s look at some dos and don’ts when communicating with an American.

• It is all right to ask children or a teenager their age. But it is not normally polite in English speaking societies to ask an adult their age and never a woman. One exception is perhaps when it is a very old person, for example, in their 80s or 90s, in which case they may be quite proud of how old they are.

• It is all right to ask someone what their job or position is, but it is not polite to ask them their salary. This is considered a private matter in English speaking society.

• It is all right to ask someone where they live, but it is not polite to ask their rent.

• The size of someone’s flat is also a matter of private thing.

• Many people feel religious belief are very personal and they may not feel comfortable to tell someone they hardly know.

• It is better to ask: “Do you have a family?” instead of asking “are you married?”

• People are sensitive about their personal appearance, so it is not polite to mention it.

• It is better not to ask how much someone has paid for his personal properties.

You can learn more do’s and don’ts in this course. 

Practice